Eating It Up

This post has been a brewin' awhile in my head...so fingers crossed it is up to par!

Anyways...I recognize in myself that I sometimes become restless and frustrated.  I do not experience these feelings overwhelmingly (mostly because I am so incredibly blessed!), but they do come and often linger.  They may stem from something out of my control, or from the fact that I do not always have control.  My restlessness can come from worry, doubt, events, people, my own impatience, etc.  A wide range of things can cause this subtle, underlying frustration that can slowly push its way into my moods and interactions.

"Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee."

This is a quote from Confessions by St. Augustine and oh, is it profound! But, I guess they don't deem just ANYONE a Doctor of the Church, now do they? :)  This quote and the song (Restless by Audrey Assad) based off of this incredible tidbit of wisdom, continually speak to me and remind me what the root of my frustration is. That root is that I am not bringing it to the Lord. I am trying, and failing miserably to deal with it on my own.  I am forgetting that the restlessness cannot be soothed by anyone, anything, any place in this world that I may am mistakenly turning to.  In fact, this often only leads to more discontentment.  My heart will not be at rest once more until I surrender it to Jesus, who is literally dying to dispel consolation unto His beloved children.

"But he said to me, 'my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"
2 Corinthians 12.9

When reflecting upon this passage, paired with Matt Maher's song, Your Grace Is Enough (inspired by this Scripture passage) I realized that I frequently forget this crucial article of faith.  God's grace is enough for me.  It is enough to get me through the day.  It is enough to bring me consolation.  I just need to open the floodgates of grace and let it pour in.  Grace, God's gift for us, has the power to do incredible things, even if it is merely alleviating my restlessness.  One day when talking to a friend, she brought to my attention that so often people will say, "It's going to be okay," when in actuality...it is okay.  God is providing for me always.  God's grace is sufficient to get me through the day, the week, this life.  I do not need to waste one ounce of worry on such things, which in turn cleanses me from the discontentment clouding my soul and preventing me from a closer relationship with God.

"Give us this day our daily bread"

God provides exactly what I need every day and that is why it is okay, and it's not just 'going to be okay.' The Lord gives me daily bread.  Lately, when I pray this line in the Our Father, it is a reminder to me that I find satisfying rest in God and that His grace is enough for me.  God grants us grace in the form of bread, a simple yet necessary staple.  God may not be gifting me with 'daily steak' because mostly that is not what I need. The Lord Jesus comes to us in the humble form of bread in the Holy Eucharist, which is exactly what I need.  God knows me to my core and cares about me as His daughter.  As much as I long for rest, God desires to give me rest more than I can imagine.  It is in this, I find immense comfort.  So as this new year is taking flight...

here's to eating up the daily bread.
cheers.

AL.

Joy for Days.

Yesterday after I finished my last final exam I felt UNSTOPPABLE.  That deep breath taken after you turn in your last exam is an incredible, joyous, and oh-so-satisfying feeling which is the cherry on top of a great semester sundae.  I felt so accomplished knowing that I studied my rear end off, and that it had its rewards in the end.  On the drive home to St. Louis, I sat back and thought about what had happened over the course of the semester. I just marveled at the GREAT semester I have had and this reflection, has given me JOY for DAYS.

This semester my classes were hard (I am not going to lie about that one!), but I loved them. I studied more than I ever had in my entire life, and I also learned so much!  Just a little fun fact about me, learning is one of my favorite things. Ever. I find it so amazing that there is a never-ending supply of knowledge out there just waiting to be absorbed.  God has blessed and continually blesses His beautiful, curious little creatures with this gift, and for that I am eternally thankful. This semester fed my sweet tooth for learning and always kept me on my toes (and humble while it was at it!).  Also, I am so happy that I feel confident in my decision to major in nursing.  I start my classes at the hospital next month. Shhh...it's on the DL, but I think Santa has a shiny, new stethoscope under the tree with my name on it!  I cannot wait to see what God has is in store for me next on the academic front.  (I would upload a pic of me studying, but you don't snap too many glamour shots hitting the books in the library......)

Another awesome thing that transpired this past semester was running my very first half-marathon!  A year ago, I never would have believed I would be saying that.  To my surprise, running has become one of my favorite hobbies because it gives me time to think and pray.  I have had my fair share of bad, not-so-fun runs, but the grace that God gives from the good ones is worth it all.  For the half (and for many runs prior) I had the opportunity to run with my roommate and my best friend, Tori.  The conversations and encouragement I have received from her are something I wouldn't trade for the world.  Together we persevered and crushed those 13.1 miles with a smile on our faces!  

Another thing that brings me such joy from the past few months are all the incredible people I have met and friends I have made. Rockhurst has truly become my home away from home this year, and I cannot be thankful enough! First of all, the girls I have gotten to know through Alpha Sigma Alpha are awesome.  My sisters, inspire me daily and provide me with meaningful conversations that help the stressful days pass a little easier.  They have shown me how to love life and joyously live each day to its ultimate good. Secondly, the ladies of LIFT (Ladies in Faith Together) have given me such hope because of the supportive community that they are. Finally, I have grateful for all the girls of the floor, my CLCs, and all the new people I have developed relationships with.  You guys are the BEST.

All of this and SO MUCH MORE has given me... 

JOY for DAYS.

AL

Bloom Where You Are Planted

"Bloom Where You Are Planted"....something I pinned on Pinterest awhile back.  I was drawn to this quote for some reason, although at the time I was not entirely sure what it was that attracted me to it, except for maybe the beautiful flowers in the background.  It was not until after a good long run, a meeting with my CLC (Christian Life Community), and a long pillow talk with my roommate that this quote manifested itself in a much more meaningful and tangible way.  I came to the realization that I need to bloom where I am being planted right now.

I sometimes find myself frustrated with a seemingly never-ending cycle of class, studying, and tests, and then MORE class, studying, and tests.  I tend to lose sight of the big picture a midst the mundane, day-to-day activities. Unfortunately, as a result my relationship with God often is pushed to the back burner while I am rushing to cross the next thing off of my to do list. Too often I need to step back and remind myself: what I am doing, why I am here, and the fact that I am so incredibly fortunate to be attending college at all.  It occurred to me (after some much-needed guidance from a good ole podcast by Fr. Mike Schmitz) that I am running in this race called life to win, not to receive a participant's medal.  This calling means that every day I need to be trying my very hardest to get to heaven, to be a saint, and to strive for the ultimate prize at the end of the race.  I cannot take any day for granted because that would be like I am walking a mile when I could be running.  I came to the realization that I can't rely on the years ahead of me to work on becoming a saint, because I would be letting so much pass me by in the process. Running towards God is what I am made for and not taking advantage of every day is a waste.  As Aristotle and St. Thomas Aquinas so wisely pointed out, the highest good is performing our characteristic function well.  The characteristic function for human beings is using our reason to seek God with our whole being.  

For me, running to win the race does not necessarily mean changing the world tomorrow.  God has planted me, Alli, in the place where I am at for a specific reason.  Not automatically knowing exactly what that reason is the beauty in it all!  So for now...God is encouraging me to bloom where He has planted me.  To cultivate good friendships, to learn all that I possibly can in my classes in order to be the best nurse that I can be, to always be seeking Him where ever I am.  I  need to patiently enjoy this incredible journey with God as my guide. God is watering me right here, now I just need to let myself 

bloom where I am planted.   

AL