Blessed are the Hungry Ones

I changed the name of the blog over the summer (practically forever ago!) because I feel it is much more fitting of who I am and what I am trying to say.  Here's why...

I have noticed in myself that I am an information gatherer (on occasion referred to as a nerd, but hey we are all being professional here).  Over the past few years this trait has manifested itself in becoming an avid blog follower and binge podcast listener who is constantly tabbing articles and has an ever-growing lists of books hoping to be added to her bookshelf. Sometimes the amount of information I want to soak up can overwhelm me (i.e. when I have 20 tabs open on my internet browser...wowza) which tempts me to see it as a curse, rather than a blessing.

I love to learn in general, but the vast majority of my recreational information gathering is centered around my faith. I am fortunate enough to be attending a university which not only offers, but requires theology and philosophy courses. A marvelous opportunity to feed my nerdiness and expand my knowledge regarding Catholic teaching for which I am extremely grateful, but usually I want to go further.

Last week in a homily on podcast, Fr. Mike Schmitz stated,

"Desire is the foundation for Christianity"

(for the record, the irony of me hearing such a thing in a podcast is acknowledged and embraced)

Saying that I have a desire to know is a major understatement. I have an insatiable hunger and thirst to find the Lord and to seek more of Him in all that I do.  But, being the flawed human being that I am I sometimes become distracted with other things.  The gift God has given me is wasted on things not worthy.  I feel most myself when I am passionately desiring the Lord and filling myself with Him.

Now to explain how "blessed are the hungry ones" became the new and improved name for my blog, I must backtrack a bit.  Obviously, the original source of this phrase comes from Jesus Himself in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew's gospel.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Matthew 5:6

Summed up with extreme brevity, I have mainly understood this Beatitude to mean those who seek good things shall be filled with good things. Good things including a plethora of virtues and things of that sort, ya know? Anyways, I found a much deeper personal connection to it despite reading or hearing it numerous times prior (shout out to the over-played and over-rated classic "Lead Me, Lord".....) when I heard it in Audrey Assad's song "Blessed are the Ones."

"We're tossing pennies in the well, empty pockets all turned out. Happy, shining, blessed are the ones who hunger." 

"Pour ourselves out like a wine that we've been saving.  When our well is running dry and when we raise our glasses high.  Happy, shining are the faces of the thirsty."

These two lyrics poetically illustrate the desires of my heart to know and learn and live in the joy found in hungering and thirsting after God.  I want to be able to toss all my pennies and pour myself out for something greater than myself because in return I know I will be receiving a gift unmatched by anything in the temporal world.  One of the many blessings contain within this gift is that the more I learn and gather, the more curious I became.

I thank the Lord everyday for infinite curiosity to explore this absolutely fascinating and beautiful world He has given us.

This idea of hungering for the Lord has been tugging at my heart for awhile now. As said in Kathryn Scott's song

"Hungry I come to you for I know you satisfy.  I am empty, but I know your love does not run dry"

When I am feeling drained and weakened from nature of my sin, my desire can be renewed and restored in the sacrament of Reconciliation.  Receiving forgiveness and healing in such a personal, profound way only encourages me to strive for Him once again.  The Holy Spirit guides me to keep hungering and thirsting for the One who give me life.

So...here's to podcasts, infinite curiosity, and the blessings of being hungry.
cheers.

AL.

P.S. I'm sorry for the incredibly long blogging hiatus...nursing school for the win there.

P.P.S. I also thought "Blessed are the Hungry Ones" would be fitting because I very much enjoying baking/cooking and have dabbled with the idea of throwing a recipe up here on occasion. Thought the title would be a nice little play on words.  Hope you ate that pun right up.....okay I am actually finished rambling now.  I sincerely appreciate you sticking with me until the end...you rock.

Be Still

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I am.

Be still and know.

Be still.

Be.

This was a meditative reflection I stumbled across from Fr. James Martin, SJ.  The powerful simplicity of these words have led me to venture into the waters of meditative prayer.  A territory difficult for me to navigate because I looooooove to talk (hmmm....you haven't noticed?)

Despite my talkative nature, I have lately been making a greater effort to incorporate more listening into my prayer life. I have created a scene for Jesus and I.  At first my imagination was running wild creating the scene (leaving little time to listen), but now that I have the go-to place in my mind and can focus on listening to what the Lord has to say to me.  The place I have created: Jesus and I sitting on a front porch of a country home near a lake in the autumn.  We're resting easily in white rocking chairs, while drinking hot apple cider or iced tea.  Jesus is sporting a red flannel.  As I said....the imagination...can go crazy if I let it.  Anyways, I love this scene.  It's comforting, peaceful, and safe. All things my heart desires in prayer. To enter into this place I need to ready my heart and the prayer at the beginning of this post is an excellent segway.

Today's readings were on point with this theme of stillness.  In the first reading from first book of Kings, Elijah is seeking God, you know...pretty typical for those prophets.  Elijah retreated to a cave and experienced strong winds, an earthquake, and fire...yet none of those were God.  God spoke to Elijah in a tiny, whispering sound.

For me personally, I am often chatting away at about a million words a minute, very much in danger of missing a tiny whispering.  Because of this habit of mine, I need to consciously give myself time to be quiet with the Lord as to not miss any whisperings from God.

Something that has been resting on my heart lately, is from T.S. Eliot's poem East Coker which I first heard in a podcast/homily from Fr. Mike Schmitz.

"We must be still and still moving."

Finding the real stillness is a challenge for me.  I am all about action; what I can do.  There is a sensitive balance between resting in the stillness of God and working towards the mission God has uniquely set before each of us, avoiding stagnation or mediocrity in faith. I feel T.S. Eliot sums up this paradox beautifully. I find myself thinking about this line and asking myself am I resting in God's presence? Am I continually working to glorify God more greatly in my actions?  Am I being still and still moving?  For it is in the tiny whisperings and stillness that I receive the direction and perseverance to keep moving.

God desires quiet time with me. Often in the gospels, Jesus goes off by Himself to encounter His Father is the intimate silence.  In following Jesus' example, it can be in these moments of silence that God is speaking the loudest.  I just need to be still and know that He is God (Psalms 46:10).  He is revealing Himself and His Will for me in the tiny whisperings.  I can be still and still moving, in His Presence.

So here's to being still and still moving.
cheers.

AL.

Pilgrimage to Beauty

I recently returned from an amazing family vacation to Sedona, Arizona.  Along the way we stopped at the Petrified Forest, Painted Desert, and Grand Canyon.  Let me tell ya....it's one grand canyon :)  While at the house my family rented we were surrounded by the breathtaking red rock mountains.

The southwestern drive was accompanied by none other than a few podcasts (my family could barely contain their excitement while tuning in...oh wait...that was me :P)  One of the podcasts, A Pilgrimage to Beauty (Catholic Stuff You Should Know), was especially pertinent for us.  Amongst lighthearted jokes, the topic was finding God and truth in the world, people, things that are around us starting with things of beauty. We are pilgrims searching for beauty.

The scenery and landscape were awesome on a purely visual level, but to stop there would be a disservice to the Infinite Creator.  The beauty of the world leads us to the truth, the truth that there is a God bigger than us that is constantly living and working through us.  In reality, this is the pilgrimage I am always on no matter the backdrop, where it be red rock canyons or the flat plains of the Midwest.

Another thing that was shown to me on this Pilgrimage to Beauty was the importance of water, in particular Christ as Living Water.  Living in the Midwest, I take for granted the crucial role of water, as in H2O, but spending a week in the desert really helps reality to manifest itself.  While reflecting upon this idea throughout the week, the idea of Jesus Christ as Living Water surfaced in a real way for me.

The Grand Canyon, too magnificent to be sufficiently described in words, was carved out by running water.
After a long day hiking on the trail, I needed lots of water to function.
Any growth and vegetation is dependent upon water.
What is needed for bathing? Oh yeah...water.

I recognize that these are incredibly obvious assertions, but it is very often that I neglect to acknowledge the crucial significance water has upon my daily life. Also, I all too often make the even graver mistake when I take for granted the importance of Living Water in my daily life. Jesus Christ as Living Water, cleanses, refreshes, and hydrates my soul every single hour of every day in the form of grace.  Originally this was started at my Baptism, but is renewed every time I go to church and cross myself with the holy water, a tangible reminder of the power Christ beholds. He has the strength to carve out my life into something more amazing than my wildest imaginations could dream of. I just need to have a little faith, let the floodgates open, and the Lord will do His water flowing thing.  Then maybe, God has His canvas ready to shape the grandest of canyon.  Talk about letting God guide that pilgrimage to beauty.

Here's to pilgrimaging to our most Beautiful Creator and enjoying the splashes.
cheers.

AL.

Guatemala: Dia Ocho

WOOO! We made it through the whole week and shockingly only the smallest snippets of my experience are being captured here on el blogo (I do not believe that the is accurate Spanish...).

My week in Guatemala was quite possibly the week I laughed more than I ever had in my whole LIFE.

Of the 14 other ladies I was travelling with I knew only a couple very well.  We had a couple a pre-trip meetings (with homework involved!) that happened to go down at 8 AM on two Friday mornings sooo needless to say we weren't exactly chatty, but this was definitely NOT a foreshadow of our week together (thank goodness).

I learned so much from these women.  We became so close, so fast.  I heard from one of my friends (not on the trip) that travelling with others inevitably has the power to make you all incredibly close because you see each other excited, tired, stressed, happy, sad, and a wide variety of other emotions.  You are spending all waking (and non-waking) hours together and in that lies a unique and priceless opportunity for friendship to grow into something beautiful.

the beginning of a beautiful friendship

This was especially the case with my friend, Alex.  We knew of each, you know that situation (particularly prevalent at Rockhurst). Immediately, we were assigned right next to each other on the flights and also shared a room throughout the week.  She was a senior this year, so this was a golden opportunity to get to know her!! And is she incredible :)  One specific way that she impacted me was her ability to laugh.  She laughs at herself, at others, and the simple joy in situations.  It is so cool.  Alex is gifted in making others feel so welcome and comfortable.  Joy trails wherever she goes.  I learned many other things from this awesome lady, but I would be going on and on and on and on (get it? haha).

Anyways, Alex will be returning to Guatemala in August to dedicate her first year post-grad to serving the people in San Lucas Toliman, Guatemala.  Another beautiful quality she possesses is her love and willingness to adventure where ever God leads her.  Since she will be volunteering for a year, she has a fundraiser to help with things such as housing, flights, etc.  If you can help her out in anyway, even if it's just prayers that would be AWESOME.  Click on over to Help send Al to Guatemala!

So here's to laughing, trailing joy all the places you go, and those who dedicate themselves in the service of others, especially my good friend, Alex and all the ladies I traveled with, you all taught me more than you know.
cheers.

AL.

Guatemala: Dia Siete

There were four girls (in addition to myself) in Guatemala who are also in Alpha Sigma Alpha with me. As a chapter we have adopted a little Guatemalan girl, Adriana.  We sponsored her financially which mainly goes to support her education, or really where ever the family needs the money to go.  

We were fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to meet her on Friday.  She was adorable and somewhat shy. Some things she shared with us:

Her favorite animal is a chicken and their family has 12 of them.
She wants to be a teacher when she grows up.
She likes to read.
Her favorite color is sky blue.
She has a older brother and a younger brother, Dennis.
Adriana turned 8 years old on April 11th.

The part of this incredible visit that touched me the most was when Adriana's mother voiced how much our donation meant to them and helped their family.  She also mentioned that Adriana prays for us, her sponsors, every single day. This really hit me. The sponsorship only costs all the members of our chapter 2 dollars...that's it.  While I knew we sponsored her, I had no idea of the impact it was truly making. I am beyond grateful that I received this opportunity to meet her and begin to add Adriana and her family to my prayers. 

Another huge lesson I learned from this visit was when her mother handmade 6 woven baskets for each of us as a thank-you gift for our financial contribution.  This was a completely unnecessary gift, but was certainly a testament to the overwhelmingly generosity of the Guatemalan people.  Despite the little that they have, they are always ready to share or to gift with others. It was an important reminder for me to refrain from being stingy with what I have. The choice to be generous is one I neglect to make too often.  I am very grateful for this chance to see generosity in action and doing good in the world, making it a little more beautiful, essentially letting the flowers bloom through the dirt.

So here's to letting the world be painted with the beauty of generosity and recognizing those beautiful painters, like Adriana's mom.

cheers.

AL.

Guatemala: Dia Seis

On day six, we smashed bigger rocks with hammers to make smaller rocks in order to have materials for concrete (yes, indeed you should watch out because a rock smasher is on the loose). We continued twisting alambras around rebar and also filled buckets with dirt to be packed and become the floor. Today we were not working on the health clinic addition, but went a little further up a mountain and were assisting in construction of a house for a family of six.

It was a fun project in which new experiences were in fresh supply, that's for sure.  My little nugget of reflection for the day came when my rear was on a rock hammering another rock into tiny rock pieces.

I came to a unparalleled awareness as to where raw materials come from.  I have forever taken for granted where the things you need to get a job done originate, and in this moment I received a nice ole slice of humble pie. I developed a deeper appreciation for utilizing what you have and not making assumptions that you will have everything that you need, when you need it.  The people of Guatemala, especially those at the mission, are very resourceful.

I learned so much more than I can sum up in this quick summary, but I now feel I have more profound respect for those who work in construction, for those you make use of everything they can, and for those who work with raw materials. I hope to put this appreciation to use by trying be more conscious of where the things I have come far and how they made their way into my possession.  I am so grateful that God granted that I have this experience in humility and that it came in such an interesting fashion.

So here's to savoring the humble pie while it's hot and appreciated the everyday ways God surprises me.
cheers.

AL.

Guatemala: Dia Cinco

Woooo coming in hot with dia cinco! ...I am thoroughly aware that you are on the very edge of your seat because all of sudden the Guatemalan week is no longer going to take me all year to blog about. I am as well on the edge of the not-so-comfy futon (of course due to anticipation NOT due to the springs sticking in my rear...promise.) Three days in a row of blogging is a shocking and exhilarating fact for us all...all 5 readers (myself included.). hey hey shout-out Mom, Dad, Tor, and Allison :)

Wednesday was really fun. Our morning assignment was at the health clinic to continue work on the mission's project of extending the clinic facilities to include a place for families of patients to stay while their loved one is receiving care (similar to Ronald McDonald House).  This project equals construction work for the volunteers to help with!! Hold back the snickers, boys...all 15 females in our group took this on like champs.  Sawing rebar, cutting alambras or wire, and tying it all together with pliers in hand like we have done every day of our lives...well...almost.  It was hard work, very hands-on, and unlike anything I had ever done before.  The conversation and laughs had during our first attempts still are making me smile right now as I am typing this. One of my favorite things about this trip was having completely new experiences everyday. Always keeping it fresh in Guat, the usual...

Anyways, while twisting metal wires around the rebar (refer to pictures to actually understand what we were doing, because my description is significantly less than stellar) and slowly becoming decent (well somewhere between ehhhh and decent at least) there was an abundance of time for my brain to run away with thoughts (definitely one of its favorite pastimes).  But first some quick background, for some reason our group truly gleamed onto the Spanish word for these metal wires, alambras. I think this started because we were not totally sure that what we were working with was actually wire and did not know how to translate it to English...not to worry though we eventually made the connection.  Oh where were we....oh yes the actual thoughts (and substance of this post) I was having...


The alambras fascinated me.  Some features in particular caught my attention. First of all, it was very malleable (at least before it was rained upon and became rusty).  Secondly, they appears incredibly simple and not all that strong, but in fact these wires were crucial for the structure of this building we were constructing.  Thirdly, they were us.  I mean that in the way that as of right now in my life, I am so beyond blessed to be in such a malleable, unrusted state.  I am attending a university that is giving me knowledge that can be used to make the world a little bit better of a place.  I am young, brimming with energy and passion. I have freedoms now that I may never have again.  Also, the possibilities of where God can be leading me are pretty much endless, endless malleability.  In addition, although my contribution, now and in the future, may be simple, it can also be necessary as the wires were for the structure of the building.  Each one contributed to the bigger end goal. All of us have something incredible to offer the world, I just need to let God take control of the pliers and start twisting and turning me into something way better than I could ever be on my own.

Aldair, he taught us so very patiently

So here's to enjoying the alambras state of life, the malleability, and letting God twist it up.
cheers, friends.

AL.

All photo credits: Alex Meyers

Guatemala: Dia Cuatro

On day 4, we were assigned to work on the stove project (yay!!).  We traveled to a neighboring village and were going to being building two families new stoves.  In Guatemala, the women wake up very early every morning to make 140 tortillas for the day for their families.  Oftentimes they makes these tortillas on an open fire, and without the proper ventilation within their homes they end up inhaled this harsh smoke.  This can lead to numerous respiratory problems after extended exposure.  In addition, these makeshift stoves are a fire hazard and threaten to burn down houses with every use.  The mission started the stove project to help relieve some of these problems for the hard-working people of Guatemala.

To build these stoves, we first began but sifted through some dirt and rocks to make concrete (this will not be the last time I make concrete by hand either...more to come in day 6!).  We proceeded to mix the cement mix and water in the newly formed pile of sifted dirt.  The cement was going between the cinder blocks that would become the new stove.  This was definitely a new and interesting experience!

The room in which we were constructing the stove was really small, so all 9 members of our group plus the long-term volunteer from the mission plus the two construction workers could not all be working at the same time.  In between cementing the cinder blocks, many children from the town were gathering to play with us. The little girls totally get a kick out of braiding our hair and singing the 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' in Spanish for us. It was a lovely break from the manual labor involved with building the stove.  Oh and the chicos were absolutely precious too :)

Photo Credit: Emily DeVore

On Tuesday I was struggling the most with understanding why I was in Guatemala and what the purpose of this trip was.  I knew that I was there to serve the people of Guatemala, but while I was struggling to mix the cement, I could not help but wonder that what I was doing was not really contributing anything at all.  I felt that the mission could employ their own workers to do a better, and more efficient job at building this stove than I could, an American from 2,500 miles away with no experience.  I felt a slight disconnect from my fellow volunteers and from the Guatemalans I was working with.  It left me with an uneasy feeling that I was not sure how to deal with.  I did not want to offend the people I was trying to serve, and that day I could not help but imagine that my presence there was just taking up space and getting in the way.  I was so grateful to have had a close to hash this all out with that day, and who was experiencing similar feelings.

This uneasiness quickly subsided after that day and I learned that I was in Guatemala on a service-immersion experience.  I was not simply there to be as productive as possible, to "fix" the most things, or to even help the most people.  I was meant to immerse myself in a different culture, learn to appreciate the variations, and embrace the people around me in a spirit of solidarity.  I found these feelings of doubt and uncertainty to lead me to an even more profound recognition of all that this trip offered me and for this reason I am glad that I experienced them. I gained a understanding that although there appear to be bumps along the road, it can truly lead to something even greater.

Today, a read a quote (actually from one of the girl I just talked about above!) that I think speaks volumes to the entire trip, but especially this day.

"I have no idea where this will lead us. But I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange."

So here's to the wonderful and strange places life leads us.
cheers.

AL.

P.S. I truly apologize for the rambly-ness of this post, too many thoughts to string together! Haha.

Guatemala: Dia Tres

On our third glorious day in Guatemala we had the opportunity to get a tour of the mission and all of its projects.  Katie, the mission's director, and a local tour guide showed us the mission's medical clinic, reforestation project, women's center, coffee bean plants, elementary school and Montessori school for the little ones.  While stopping at each site spread throughout the town, we were also able to meet the members of the community in charge of the projects. It was so cool to see the projects and people in action after watching the movie the night before on Fr. Greg's life and all the project he implemented in San Lucas.

Truvio
Photo credit: Alex Meyers

In the afternoon on Monday our project assignment was at the reforestation project with a man named Truvio. Truvio has been working on and now managing the reforestation project since he was a young man. We learned from Truvio that one of the main things that the reforestation project seeks to do is plant cypress trees. Cypress trees were chosen in particular because they have deep roots that grow quickly.  These trees are important in maintaining soil that can grow crops and they help protect from landslides bringing as much devastation to communities in Guatemala.

As cool as it was to learn the logistics about reforestation the part that really stood out to me about Truvio was his overwhelming joy and passion for his work.  I feel that I was fortunate enough to have seen him in action spreading his joy.  I have so much to learn from Truvio.  To always, each and every day, put forth all that I have into my vocation.  Maybe my vocation does not involve planting trees and developing the Earth through reforestation like Truvio's, and God has given me different gifts, but I can always use those gifts to make to the world a little more beautiful and a little more joyful.  Truvio, is a perfect example of this and he definitely is an example to aspire to imitate.

Our group and Truvio

So here's to Truvio and spreading a little joy in our work.
cheers.

AL.

Guatemala: Dia Dos

On Sunday, our second day in San Lucas, waaaas beautiful.

But then again, I am not sure if that is a very distinguishing feature because every day was as well. Worst problems could definitely be had :)

We attended mass at the 400 year old (yes, four hundred...whoa) parish church at the Mission.  Uniquely, the back of the church is completely open.  There are no doors, which I think is pretty cool because of it's literal interpretation that the doors of the Church are always open for everyone and anyone. Whether or not that meaning was intended...I have no clue ha.  Nonetheless, it was very inviting.  Also, it was awesome to see the church overflowing with parishioners.  There were locals spilling out of the church (I guess that is another advantage of no doors..) onto the courtyard, but still ready to participate in mass.

After mass and breakfast, we took a boat tour around Lake Atitlan to a couple other villages including Santiago and Panachel. The lake is surrounded by mountains and volcanoes (not the usual sights to be seen here in the Midwest!).  The view was breath-taking and the journey was so peaceful. God manifests Himself so intricately and beautifully in the world around us.

Finally, our trip to Guatemala was truly a cultural immersion experience and part of that experience was learning all about the Mission of San Lucas.  The mission is very integral in the community because of its many projects and efforts to help the people of Guatemala to have adequate and dignified living situations.  We watched a movie, A Father for All, on the history of the Mission and mainly about Fr. Greg, the man who made so much possible for these people.  He was originally assigned to Guatemala with a 5 year assignment, but he ended up staying for 48 years!  He lived out radical discipleship for the Lord and had a huge impact on these people's lives.  Some of the Mission's projects include: an orphanage (no longer needed!), a school, the stove project, the coffee project, the clinic, women's center, and reforestation.  The faith that Fr. Greg displayed for the duration of his life is so inspiring.  There is an underlying attitude of all those living and working at the Mission is that God provides. 

Throughout the week, the idea of "God providing" kept popping up unexpectedly.  I felt God was providing me with a lesson in having total faith in Him and His works.  This is something I need to incorporate much more frequently and honestly in my own life.  This trip and the people I encountered offered me so much wisdom in ways I never could have imagined and for that...I am eternally grateful. 

(all photo credits: Rebecca Keeven)

So here's to faith in God providing...He always does :) cheers.

Love, AL

Guatemala: Dia Uno

(the view from outside our motel balcony...)

To sum it up: Guatemala was incredible.  I could not have spent my spring break in a better way with a better group of people. And something as great as this requires lots of blogging (wooooo, I know you're on the edge of your seat :P)!! I think I will spare you to only 7 posts or a snippet and thought of mine from each day, although I could go on for days about my time there.

Day 1:
We definitely made a jump start on the day, by waking up at 2:45 in the A.M. to get to the airport, through security, and all that jazz for our bright and early flight. Around noon we arrived in Guatemala City, to be greeted by our ride to the Mission in San Lucas.  The drive was about 4 hours and included some gorgeous scenery along the way paired with some pretty bumpy roads.  We came across some pretty fearless drivers, an ostrich (that you could feed for 5 Q!) at a gas station, and a "mystery spot" or paso misterio.

Our driver stopped at the mystery spot to explain it to us.  It appeared that we were on a downward slope in the road up the mountains, but when he put the van in neutral we started to roll backwards.  It was completely against what you would intuitively think would happen, therefore getting the nickname from the locals as "the mystery spot." Some called it an optical illusion, others think it can be attributed to the magnetic pulls from the volcanoes, and others still claim it is simply a mystery.

At the time, I did not think much about this quirky spot, but later in the week and when returning home it gained much more significance for me in hindsight.  It was a great way to start off my adventure in Guatemala because it showed me that everything I saw could be not be explained, but must be experienced.  It was reminder to not make judgments after first glances because that rarely tells the whole story, and I may be missing out on something incredible if I let first impressions have too much of a say. Finally, it was preparing me to be up for anything God was going to have thrown my way because He works in such beautiful, and mysterious ways! Originally, I know I never would have thought about the significance of a mystery spot, but I believe God was teaching me a little lesson through it and I am sure glad it planted these thoughts in my head.

So here's to experiencing and appreciating all of the mystery spots in my life...they sure do keep it interesting!
cheers.

Love, AL

#ashtag

Happy LENT!

I am pretty pumped for the Lenten season that is now upon us.  I am ready for the opportunity (paired with a slight dollop of obligation) to grow closer to Our Lord through a good bit of sacrifice and a recognition that I need to spend more time in prayer.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God--what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

As St. Paul said it, Lent is a golden opportunity to renounce the things of this world that hold me back from growing in holiness.  It is a time to allow for the Lord transform me. Yesterday, I watched a short video of Scott Hahn explaining a new perspective we should take on the season of Lent in order to open our hearts more to God.  In making sacrifices, spending more time in prayer, or whatever we choose to do, we are truly experiencing the weakness that comes as a result of our imperfect humanity.  The sacrifices aren't easy, and they shouldn't be (because what's the sacrifice in that? ha)! But it is in the difficulty, we acknowledge our need for God's unending grace. In accepting my brokenness, I realize my need for God.  This Lent, I am committing to spending 40 minutes in prayer whether in Mass, Adoration, and another form of prayer.  I am taking 40 minutes out of my day and offering them up for this beautiful transformation of the Spirit.  This is definitely a season of hope because God is ready to dump a hearty scoop of grace all upon us! Pretty cool, right? :)

I must admit that although, I am not jumping up and down at the thought of no sweets for quite awhile (what can I say? I like my sugar), I am thrilled that through it I will be reminded daily of the many blessings that I have been given. I will be going without a regular treat that I am able to indulge it, and hopefully will be learning to appreciate that I have been given more than enough.  In 8 days (eeeep!), I will be travelling to Guatemala on a service immersion trip, and I hope these small sacrifices will help prepare me to live in solidarity with the people I will be serving. I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for me! So more on Guatemala later!

So here's to a purifying, grace-filled, and renewing Lenten season! cheers.  

AL.

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer." Romans 12:12

Called Me Higher

Lately the song, Called Me Higher by All Sons and Daughters has been a frequent play on my Spotify, voicing something that has been resting on my heart.  The song was introduced to me by one of my closest friends, Allison. The lyrics are incredibly beautiful and have inspired this probably not-so-inspiring post :)

I always have the option to do just what I need to do to "get by" in my faith life.  Not only do I just have that option, I often elect to do this rather than to recklessly abandon all that I am for the sake of the Lord. But when I choose to do such things, I am not achieving the full potential of my God-given gifts. I also find myself making the many mistakes that lie in comparison.  God has called us all to something different. His plans for me are unlike the plans for anyone else (which is so incredibly beautiful!!), therefore I cannot compare my faith journey to other's.  God has granted me with gifts that I need to do His will as perfectly as I can.  It is my job to cultivate these gifts on the path God has laid specifically for me, Allison Claire. I should not sell these gifts short because I am just doing enough to get by.

"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it.  For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it." Matthew 8:13-14 

Although I trick myself into thinking that it may seem easier to take the wide, easy road...ultimately that road does not lead to heaven.  As humans, we were made for a challenge.  We were not designed for a half-assed, mediocre attempts at anything, especially the relationship with our Creator.  It seems counter-intuitive that I should be so tempted by mediocrity, but I am (often and frequently, I might add!).  I need to remember that God has given me the gifts that I have for a reason.  If I am not using them and making the most of them, I am doing something wrong.  I pray God may grant me the strength to follow His will, for humility when I fall short, and for perseverance to keep striving.  So my goal for the week, the month, the always...

Recklessly abandon mediocrity for the sake of entering the narrow gate because God has called me higher.

I know, sounds like a piece of cake ;)

Love, AL

Eating It Up

This post has been a brewin' awhile in my head...so fingers crossed it is up to par!

Anyways...I recognize in myself that I sometimes become restless and frustrated.  I do not experience these feelings overwhelmingly (mostly because I am so incredibly blessed!), but they do come and often linger.  They may stem from something out of my control, or from the fact that I do not always have control.  My restlessness can come from worry, doubt, events, people, my own impatience, etc.  A wide range of things can cause this subtle, underlying frustration that can slowly push its way into my moods and interactions.

"Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee."

This is a quote from Confessions by St. Augustine and oh, is it profound! But, I guess they don't deem just ANYONE a Doctor of the Church, now do they? :)  This quote and the song (Restless by Audrey Assad) based off of this incredible tidbit of wisdom, continually speak to me and remind me what the root of my frustration is. That root is that I am not bringing it to the Lord. I am trying, and failing miserably to deal with it on my own.  I am forgetting that the restlessness cannot be soothed by anyone, anything, any place in this world that I may am mistakenly turning to.  In fact, this often only leads to more discontentment.  My heart will not be at rest once more until I surrender it to Jesus, who is literally dying to dispel consolation unto His beloved children.

"But he said to me, 'my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"
2 Corinthians 12.9

When reflecting upon this passage, paired with Matt Maher's song, Your Grace Is Enough (inspired by this Scripture passage) I realized that I frequently forget this crucial article of faith.  God's grace is enough for me.  It is enough to get me through the day.  It is enough to bring me consolation.  I just need to open the floodgates of grace and let it pour in.  Grace, God's gift for us, has the power to do incredible things, even if it is merely alleviating my restlessness.  One day when talking to a friend, she brought to my attention that so often people will say, "It's going to be okay," when in actuality...it is okay.  God is providing for me always.  God's grace is sufficient to get me through the day, the week, this life.  I do not need to waste one ounce of worry on such things, which in turn cleanses me from the discontentment clouding my soul and preventing me from a closer relationship with God.

"Give us this day our daily bread"

God provides exactly what I need every day and that is why it is okay, and it's not just 'going to be okay.' The Lord gives me daily bread.  Lately, when I pray this line in the Our Father, it is a reminder to me that I find satisfying rest in God and that His grace is enough for me.  God grants us grace in the form of bread, a simple yet necessary staple.  God may not be gifting me with 'daily steak' because mostly that is not what I need. The Lord Jesus comes to us in the humble form of bread in the Holy Eucharist, which is exactly what I need.  God knows me to my core and cares about me as His daughter.  As much as I long for rest, God desires to give me rest more than I can imagine.  It is in this, I find immense comfort.  So as this new year is taking flight...

here's to eating up the daily bread.
cheers.

AL.